1. Fake Fruit Centerpieces
There was a time when a bowl of plastic apples, grapes, and bananas graced nearly every suburban dining room. They were meant to signal hospitality, abundance, and a pinch of class—even if they were often covered in a mysterious layer of dust. These faux displays looked realistic enough to tempt toddlers and confuse dogs. Some even included that weird waxy coating for extra authenticity.
Today, they just look cheap and try-hard. With the rise of real produce bowls and minimalistic design, fake fruit seems both outdated and unnecessary. Plus, why not just buy a few apples? At least they won’t melt in a hot sunbeam.
2. Wagon Wheel Coffee Tables
Once the crown jewel of rustic living rooms, wagon wheel coffee tables were a must-have in many 1970s and ’80s suburban homes. They offered that perfect “pioneer meets homey” aesthetic, often paired with knotty pine walls and a plaid couch. You might’ve spotted one in a Sears catalog or your neighbor’s den next to a stone fireplace. These days, they mostly look like you robbed a Cracker Barrel lobby.
Now they sit in basements or garages, too bulky to throw out but too cringe to keep in the main house. They’re awkward relics of a time when western kitsch was synonymous with comfort. No one really needs to rest their coffee on a wheel anymore. And honestly, who’s still waxing nostalgic about the Oregon Trail?
3. Brass and Glass Entertainment Centers
Back in the day, these glitzy brass-framed TV stands screamed “we’ve made it.” Common in the 1980s and early ’90s, they housed big boxy TVs, stereo systems, and even your prized VHS collection. Their shiny finish and smoked glass gave a “high-end hotel” vibe that suburbanites proudly displayed. You might even remember wiping them down weekly to keep them fingerprint-free.
Today, they’re impossible to style and impossible to move. Flat screens don’t fit in them, and streaming has killed the need for display shelves full of tapes. Instead of sophistication, they now scream “stuck in 1989.” And no one wants to risk smashing a pinky toe on one again.
4. Popcorn Ceilings
For decades, this bumpy texture was the standard ceiling finish in suburban homes, touted for its ability to hide imperfections and absorb sound. Builders loved it because it was fast and cheap, and homeowners just went with it. It was practically a rite of passage—moving in meant staring up at a ceiling that looked like cottage cheese. You probably didn’t question it until your first open house in a modern home.
Now? It’s an eyesore and a renovation red flag. People will pay thousands to scrape it off—especially since older versions can contain asbestos. It doesn’t matter how clean the room is, popcorn ceilings always feel like a dusty throwback no one asked for.
5. Sunken Living Rooms
These architectural dips were all the rage from the late ’60s through the ’80s, giving homes a modern, “conversation pit” vibe. It was supposed to feel intimate and luxurious—a visual break in a sea of wall-to-wall carpeting. They also made your house feel like it belonged in an issue of Architectural Digest. You were someone who entertained in style.
Now they’re mostly a broken ankle waiting to happen. Families with toddlers, pets, or aging knees want nothing to do with that single step down. Renovators either level them out or avoid houses with them altogether. That dramatic drop just isn’t worth the ergonomic stress.
6. Floral Border Wallpaper
Nothing screamed suburban elegance like a floral wallpaper border lining the top of your kitchen or bathroom walls. These little patterns—roses, ivy, grapevines—were supposed to tie the room together with a touch of nature and charm. They were everywhere from magazines to model homes, especially in the late ’80s and early ’90s. Even bathrooms got the botanical treatment.
But now, they just feel like visual clutter. Wallpaper borders are one of the first things to go during a remodel. They’re tough to remove, a pain to paint over, and totally clash with modern clean lines. What was once quaint now just feels like an aging motel.
7. Glass Block Windows
In the ‘80s and early ‘90s, glass block windows were seen as the perfect blend of privacy and light. They showed up in bathrooms, entryways, and even as entire shower walls. The idea was to get that natural light without giving your neighbors a peep show. And in their heyday, they felt pretty futuristic.
Now, they’re a signature of homes frozen in time. The blocks are bulky, outdated, and difficult to repair or replace. Modern homeowners prefer sleek frosted or textured glass instead. Let’s face it: no one’s dreaming of showering behind a wall that looks like a frozen aquarium.
8. Wall-to-Wall Mirrored Closet Doors
If you grew up in suburbia during the ‘80s or ‘90s, chances are your bedroom had at least one mirrored closet door. They made the room look bigger and let you check your outfit without buying an extra mirror. It was a simple design hack that came standard in new builds. They also made vacuuming a terrifying game of “don’t make eye contact with your own sweatpants.”
These days, they mostly reflect regret. The mirrors easily crack, collect fingerprints, and give off a dated, builder-grade vibe. Interior designers now favor minimalist sliders or barn-style doors. Plus, waking up to your own reflection isn’t quite the energy most people want at 6 a.m.
9. Tuscan-Style Kitchens
Think dark cherry cabinets, wrought iron pot racks, and maybe a decorative wine bottle or two on top of the fridge. In the early 2000s, the Tuscan kitchen was the ultimate flex—it meant you were worldly, cultured, and probably made a decent bruschetta. Every tile, fixture, and curtain was designed to scream “Italian countryside.” Except it often felt more like an Olive Garden lobby than an actual villa.
Now, this look is a heavy-handed design choice that’s hard to undo. Buyers are tearing out the ornate backsplashes and bulky cabinetry in favor of bright, open, modern kitchens. What once felt like a warm invitation now feels like an aesthetic hostage situation. And no, the faux grapevine over the pantry door isn’t helping.
10. Inflatable Holiday Yard Decorations
Remember when a giant inflatable Santa or snow globe made your yard the envy of the block? These blow-up decorations hit peak popularity in the early 2000s, turning suburban lawns into seasonal spectacle zones. You weren’t truly festive unless your front yard was half air. They were fun, a little tacky, and weirdly addictive.
But now they’re mostly seen as lazy décor or visual noise. They sag, rip, or deflate entirely when a storm hits—or when you forget to plug them in. Plus, they lack the charm of old-school string lights or hand-painted lawn figures. What once felt joyful now often looks like your house gave up halfway through the holiday.
11. Ivy and Grape Kitchen Decor
A staple of suburban kitchens in the ’90s and early 2000s, this motif appeared on everything from wallpaper to switch plates to dish towels. The look said “old-world vineyard,” but with microwave popcorn and toaster ovens. Grape clusters and trailing ivy gave a cozy, lived-in feel—if that life was lived entirely at a Pier 1 clearance rack. Matching grape-printed oven mitts? Chef’s kiss.
But the vineyard aesthetic hasn’t aged gracefully. It now feels overdone, hyper-specific, and out of sync with modern kitchen trends. Clean lines, neutral tones, and plants you don’t need to dust have taken over. Your backsplash shouldn’t look like a wine label exploded.
12. Overly Themed Bathrooms
At some point, we decided bathrooms needed to tell stories. Whether it was a nautical theme complete with rope mirrors and lighthouse shower curtains, or a Parisian motif with Eiffel Tower soap dispensers and cursive “Le Bain” signs, the themed bathroom was unavoidable. It made powder rooms feel “fancy” even if the toilet seat was cracked. You were either by the sea or strolling the Champs-Élysées—while brushing your teeth.
Now, these spaces feel cartoonish and cluttered. Themed bathrooms are hard to coordinate with modern styles, and most feel like they belong in a mid-tier Airbnb. Subtlety is the new luxury. A clean tile and one good candle beat an entire anchor-themed ensemble.
13. Fake Fireplace Logs with Lightbulbs
These electric log sets once brought instant “ambiance” to homes without real fireplaces. They featured spinning lights and tiny motors to mimic flames—badly. Usually paired with a faux wood stove or media console, they were the suburban shortcut to cozy. If you squinted, they almost looked like fire.
Now they mostly make people laugh—or wince. With modern electric fireplaces offering realistic visuals and heat, the old log-and-bulb setup feels like a dated theater prop. The hum of the motor is more distracting than comforting. If your fireplace sounds like a ceiling fan on its last legs, it’s time to move on.
14. Ruffled Curtain Valances
These frilly top-window treatments were the final flourish in many suburban living rooms and bedrooms. Popular from the late ‘80s through early 2000s, they often came in floral prints, lace trims, or dusty pastels. Their job was to hide curtain rods and “soften” the room. In reality, they just collected dust and made your windows look like they belonged in a dollhouse.
Today, valances feel overly fussy and out of step with current trends. Clean, structured window treatments have taken over, leaving these ruffles in the decorating graveyard. They’re hard to clean and even harder to justify. If your curtains have more layers than your outfits, it’s time for a refresh.
This post 14 Items That Were Once Peak Suburban Cool—Now They’re Just Awkward Decorations was first published on American Charm.
